Saying ‘Hello’ is such a simple act. You’d have thought.
Article originally published June 25, 2019
I own a dog. Owning a dog (btw she’s a English cocker spaniel and her name is Tilly) means I have to walk her. Most of these walks are in some of the lovely woodland around where I live, and of course during these walks I meet other people out walking their dogs. It’s a good way to meet people and if you’re feeling in the mood (and they are as well) it’s a sure-fire way to strike up a conversation, usually about our respective dogs. These fleeting conversations usually start with a simple ‘Hello’ or ‘Morning’, sometimes they are just that, a simple greeting, some eye contact and a smile — friendly and human communication in its simplest form.
As far as I’m concerned, saying hello as I pass a fellow human being as I walk the crazy cocker is just plain good manners; it also reflects the way you were raised as a kid, but also it just doesn’t feel right to walk past someone and just not acknowledge them. However, I’ve noticed one thing. The youngsters (read Millennials and the early Gen Zs) of today just don’t know how to say hello. In fact, they go out of their way not to make eye contact (a bit shy perhaps); dare I say they deliberately ignore you — they don’t want to, or perhaps just don’t know how to say hello. It’s true, I can walk past a whole bunch of people as I’m walking the dog, people my age and older will nine times out of ten offer some form of acknowledgement: if I walk past a youngster, they look straight ahead, look a bit awkward and keep going.*
This got me thinking. Why do young people of today struggle to cope with this most basic form of communication? Are kids not being taught basic social skills, either by their parents or at school? Are they scared of being seen to be open and approachable? Are they worried that uttering a single greeting word could mean that they have to string a longer sentence together and, god forbid, engage in a longer conversation and come across as open and approachable? I do think that this social media and gaming-fuelled world we live in is a big part of the problem. When I was a kid, entertaining yourself meant actually going out and socialising with your friends, today this mobile and digital culture means kids are constantly glued to their devices or their gaming consoles (I have two kids, so I know this is true). There is no proper human interaction with this, therefore when they stumble across a real human being walking their dog like me, I genuinely believe they have no idea what to do.
But, is this a form of self-preservation? I mean, the world is a dangerous place and there are all manner of lunatics out there. As kids we were told not to talk to strangers and I’m pretty sure that kids today are told exactly the same thing, but this is obviously at the detriment of enjoying a basic human connection. I shudder to think how all those twenty-somethings, all planning to leave school or university and go out into the big wide world, are going to cope? How are they going to turn up at their new place of work and say hello to the receptionist, say hello to the person at the desk next to them, say hello to the customer that walks into their shop when the world today doesn’t demand that people are just plain nice to each other?
So, when I’m out walking Tilly and I see a young person with his or her dog coming towards me and I can see it has all the makings of being a complete non-moment, I look at them and say ‘hello’. Admittedly, it surprises most of them, but I figure I’m teaching them that this is what normal, friendly humans do and that it’s OK (honestly!) to engage in these simplest of gestures. Acknowledging the presence of others is a valuable skill — I’m not asking anyone to stop and tell me their life story, but kids, it’s OK to show some humanity and humility, to raise your eyes from the ground and just say ‘Hi!’ — I won’t bite, I promise (and neither will my dog!).
*I might add I’m a fairly normal looking bloke and don’t look like your average woodland strangler, so no one need be scared.
